Friday, July 13, 2012

Providence, Part 1

I don't know how this is going to turn out, but I'm going to blog about it now before it goes any further. I've been applying for another nursing job for 3 months now. Getting more specific as time goes. I didn't want ER or ICU or psych or delivery... Then I only wanted full time... I'm still really interested in pediatrics. Those are the only positions I've been applying to at UM. But most of the positions open there are float positions. That means that when I get to work, I could be send to one of a number of different units. I don't have experience enough to work on a different unit each day. I saw this position three weeks ago that caught my eye, but yet deterred me. I was interested but afraid. But I convinced myself to apply. "I don't know why I'm doing this. I have no experience in this type of nursing," was going through my head as I sent off the application. A week later, I got a phone call for an interview that I couldn't quite understand. I heard 'cardiothoracic.' Ok, I applied to some of those positions. Then I heard 'ICU.' Wait, what? And did I hear Pediatric at the beginning of that? Yep, Pediatric Cardiothoracic ICU at UM Mott called me for an interview.

I couldn't say no! If I wasn't interested, why did I apply. So I accepted. As time went on, I felt more relax rather than nervous. The day came and the devil did so much these last few days to try to discourage me, but I knew God was working something. I did my one hour shadow of a nurse caring for a 3 month old post-heart surgery patient. The acuity(sickness) level is so high on this unit that each nurse only gets 1 patient. Then the supervisor called me back to her office and interviewed me. I was honest and told her that the ICU scared me because I have no experience there, but that I'm interested in Peds and cardiovascular and that I learn hands-on, so I will learn ICU. I felt like none of  my answers were properly answering her questions. Have you ever participated in a code (CPR)? No. Have you ever lost a patient? Yes. I don't like the facts behind those questions, but she kept asking, and kept giving me info. Almost an hour later, she continued on to explain the interview process. She then asked if I was interested in the next step: the peer interview. If I don't get a job, it's not going to be because I said no. I'll say yes until God has to say no.

So, starting with an application that I didn't even know why I was sending, for a position I have No experience in, to a 2 hour interview in which I said that the unit scared me, to a request to come back next week for another interview. Really God? How are you getting me to where I don't want to be? First, nursing. Now, ICU! But, as I've been saying for years, If God calls you to it, He'll get you through it. I'm trying to hold on to that. I don't know if I'll get this job offer, or why, but it's obvious that I didn't even get this far without the work of God.

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