Sunday, August 22, 2010

Here is a journal entry from 6 weeks after I returned:

            I guess this trip has changed me. I don’t like life over here. It’s too fast paced. Too many distractions. I told Michelle last night that the experience doesn’t seem real anymore and that it was nice to hear her stories that afternoon during her mission story to her church. She responded with, “Really? That seems real to me. This doesn’t seem real.”

            Our environment should not dictate how we do ministry. There are considerations, but still. Over there I led in morning devotions, prayed in front of the group, did special music in multiple languages, told a children’s story, and gave Bible studies with an interpreter. And in 3 weeks after returning, I preached two times, sang Zambian songs in front of churches and my co-worker…but my heart did not feel right on trip and it feels worse now. Lord, help me be the ministry I was/could have/should have been over there. There’s a work you have for me to do at Eastern this last semester. Don’t let me back away. Don’t let me hide behind nursing work. In fact, increase my faith in your provision. You brought me to nursing and will give me the necessary desire to get through it. Help me take my own sermon personally. No matter the circumstance, whether ministry or nursing, you will give me the words to say. My heart needs to be right with you, and I need help to achieve that.

            Thank you!